I'm going to start this post of with a song from one of my favorite artists. Sorry if you hate country. :)
Kenny Chesney- Never Gonna Feel Like That Again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H68tkc1Z10c
I was actually listening to this song earlier today, just think about it, how true is it? At each stage of life, things will happen that will be new, you have that feeling of experiencing it and then it's gone. The memory will always be there, you will always remember it with either a feeling of deep sadness or absolute joy and it could change your life drastically, but with it comes a series of changes and challenges. In a sense, we become different people during these times, always with the same memories and feelings, but those experiences change us. We learn something and mature. Don't be afraid of these times, it's when we grow. Remember that we can't hold on to just one stage forever, do that and you could be missing out on some of life's greatest joys. I have experienced many changes in the past few years, and with this latest change (a baby girl), I have really thought about all that has happened. My life didn't go how I planned, God had a different idea for me. At the time, I was confused and didn't understand His plan, but I do now. Isn't that always how it goes? I'll highlight a few things in this post.
Pre-college-
I didn't want to go to college, not because it was too hard, but because I didn't see the point considering my life goals. Even as a young girl, I was a romantic and dreamed of marrying my high school sweetheart and having a family. My dream job was to be a mom, home school my kids, and have a big garden. As time went on, I didn't even have a high school sweetheart, my first boyfriend wasn't until I was 18. I thought I was late in getting my life started. In the end, I am so happy I didn't date until I was older. I was able to have so many great experiences and form great friendships that still last today, 6 years later. I didn't end up meeting my husband until I was 21, and I started college at 20 years old. During those times, I traveled with my dad and mom a few winters and met a lot of great people.
See how things went the way I envisioned when I was young? Me neither. I couldn't wish it any other way though. I got to grow as a person, and in my faith. As a result, I got to spend extra time with my dad who would suddenly pass away a few years later, and I also worked at summer camps in North Dakota and Missouri. I wish I could do it again! Time does move on though, and I was off to new experiences.
College-
This was one experience that was a bit different for me than for many others. I only went to a community college and got an associates degree. I also worked a part-time job to help pay my way through. During this stage, I was either studying, working, or playing volleyball at a church or league, I didn't have the kind of experience people usually think of when it comes to college, I didn't have a dorm, didn't do those crazy college parties, or live on pizza and ramen noodles. At the time, I wondered what the heck I was doing going to college when I didn't want to be a working woman anyways, and since I was going, why not do the whole college experience? Honestly, I do still kind of wonder what the whole college experience would have been like, but I prefer just wondering and having no debt to pay! Who knows, since I am more of a follower, I may have gotten in to trouble anyways. haha
This was just a whole big bombshell of new things. I went through different decisions about what I wanted to study, as I am sure many students do, and settled on baking and pastry. I love science and a passion of mine is creation science, but it wasn't practical to study that considering I still eventually wanted to be a stay at home mom. While switching through classes, I met so many great people, I also met some that really tested my patience and I put to use God's rules of forgiveness, patience, kindness, and love. I met many of different faiths and ideas, from Buddhism to this lady saying she thought aliens brought us to earth. I still wonder if she was serious or not, I couldn't tell and she didn't talk much. I am still wondering if God is going to use my college experience for something big, or He may have just used that experience as an opportunity for me to be able to talk to others about Him. I know I did have many chances during that time that I didn't use, I worried too much about saying the right thing and didn't end up saying anything at all. The world says to be yourself unless you are a Christian. When there are those times when the Jesus freak in you wants to shine, don't be afraid to let the light pour through. If they ask you a question you aren't prepared to answer, it's okay to say, "I don't know". Invite them to look for the answer with you!
This experience taught me about his hand in the small things. God doesn't always show His plan in big ways, sometimes He may have used you to help someone else without you knowing it. In all you do, let it be for the glory of God.
Marriage and babies-
This one is new for me, so I am still in the learning process. I became engaged during my last year of college, and got married the following fall. Yes, we were planning a wedding during my final semester, but I welcomed the happy distraction. :) These days, people seem scared of making the commitment to marry, thinking they will change or the love will fade. Yes, you will change, but love is a choice to begin with so you just choose to love the person your spouse has become. Unless of course your spouse turned abusive or cheated on you, then that isn't good and you don't have to put up with that. Does love fade? Yes, it does if you let it, and if you choose not to love the person anymore. The whole fad of romance novels and fairy tale love stories has been ingrained in our society way too much. Love IS NOT always pretty! There will be those times when your spouse isn't all that lovable. Maybe he snaps at you because he had a long day at work, or you have to take care of the kids and him because he has the flu. God said to love others as Christ loves us. Love is a whole lot more than the butterflies and stars in the eyes, it's also the cleaning up puke, making chicken noodle soup and a whole lot of forgiveness. Also, a big thing I learned is not trying to understand each other, if you don't know why he/she does what they do, it's okay, learn to love that as well.
Now for last topic of babies. It is a lot of fun having a child, but it is scary! Being responsible for raising another human being is an intimidating task, I was quite nervous. In the world of pregnancy prevention, many couples have opted out of that task altogether, but I promise you it isn't that bad! Yes, there are many nights of little sleep and frustration at having to get up again to feed them when you swore you just fell back asleep, but it will be okay, I swear, there is a moment where something just clicks, the "parent" light switch turns on and you just do what you have to do. Even during the scariest part for me, which was labor, there was this moment when I thought I couldn't push anymore or take the pain, and then there was the click. I swear it seemed like God came in and helped me do the rest. I didn't seem to feel the pain, I could only concentrate on the last of the pushing; I felt like they drugged me up, the nurses and my midwife said I acted like it too. haha
I am sure there will be many more lessons in life, and I will go through more hard times, and a whole lot of good times. Whatever you do, never stop trusting God, never stop loving, and never stop forgiving,
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