I am sure you have all heard of the nurse-ins, the rants about women who get told to cover themselves up when breastfeeding in public, and you hear how outraged the breastfeeding community get. If you haven't heard of this going on yet, just do a quick internet search and I am sure you will have plenty of articles to read that will brief you in a hurry. Don't read the comments though unless you want to get fed up with how people discuss this issue, really it isn't a true discussion, it is more of a "who can insult the other person more?" battle. I have tried discussing this before on social media but have since given up. I can only take so many insults toward myself before I have to politely say that we will have to agree to disagree, if I wouldn't I would probably say something I regret. I will say that a few actually knew how to constructively talk about this topic, which I was thankful for. After that discussion, I decided that this just needs expanded on in a blog. So what are we to think about breastfeeding without a cover? How should we approach this topic?
This is another one of those topics that is so controversial, and points are so very often misconstrued, so I should probably write a disclaimer like I have done on a few of my other posts. I am not saying that you cannot breastfeed in public, I am only questioning the debate of covering up vs. not covering up. I am all for breastfeeding, it is much healthier for the baby. One other common topic in this debate is that breastfeeding isn't banned by law, law actually supports it. Yes, that is true, law does state that you can breastfeed in public. What law does not specify is being covered or uncovered. In my opinion, that decision is left up to the business. If a business asks you to cover, be respectful of their wishes and cover. Better yet, ask them their rules regarding it before you go so you can be prepared. The law I mentioned pertains to Indiana at least, I am not sure about the rest of the states. I think I covered what needed to be said, let's get down to business.
First question that usually comes up is, "Is this right or wrong?". I hate to get all philosophical on you, but that is where my brain goes next. Ponder these questions before we move on:
1. How do you decide what is right and wrong?
2. Why do you think that?
3. Where do you believe we come from?
4. What is our purpose in life?
I do believe those four questions help a person come to a decision about many topics in life. Well, maybe not come to a decision depending on what you do believe, but it will at least help you get a little further along in figuring it out. I bet I can guess what you are thinking, is it "how do these questions relate to this topic?"? I'll explain. In short, what you believe about right and wrong stems from your core beliefs on life. If you believe in Christianity, God created us around 6000 years ago, we live to please Him, and look to Him regarding right and wrong. Our guidebook is the Bible, and our purpose is to love others and tell of His love to other people. Evolution is believing the earth is around 4.6 billion years old, we evolved from apes, and our purpose I would assume is to reproduce (No, that comment isn't studied. That is my thought concerning purpose since with evolution we would just be animals, and the mission of an animal is to ensure the survival of your species).
Evolution and Creationism are two common faiths in the world, but do you see how depending on what you believe, it can change your perception of what is right and wrong? If it were the case that evolution is true, I would say why not breastfeed without a cover? Animals walk around naked all the time anyways, right? What is the difference? We are actually more modest than most animals. I wonder how right and wrong are determined with that faith. I commonly hear it going back to emotion and what feels right. On the contrary, if you believe in the Bible, you should be carrying a totally different tune. We are made in the image of God, and God said to honor Him with our bodies. Honoring Him with our bodies means taking care of ourselves, and respecting how He created us. What does God say about a woman's breasts? Proverbs 5:19, "A loving doe, a graceful deer-- may her breasts satisfy you always, may you be ever captivated by her love." This tells me that breasts are not only for nourishment of a child, but they are sexual as well. Let us be real though, doesn't your husband love your breasts? Men, don't you peak at your wife and admire those? Especially if you are feeling a little frisky, that is one of the two areas men grab. Sorry if I am getting you a little uncomfortable, but we have to face this fact. I hear it said that men can separate the natural act of breastfeeding and sexual attraction to a woman. I am sorry, but I don't believe that. Some men can, but not all. I just came across a picture on facebook where an attractive woman was breastfeeding her baby without a cover, and a man commented saying, "I want what he is having!". Yeah, I don't think he was able to separate the two.
I would speak of other faiths as well, but I believe you get my point. Determining where you stand on an issue stems from what you believe about life. How do we compromise on this issue then when there are decidedly different viewpoints? I think we should stop thinking so selfishly, it isn't all about you, it isn't all about me. If a business would desire you to cover up, respect that, if you don't like it then don't give them your business. If a business would allow it, that is perfectly fine as well, I just won't go there because it makes me uncomfortable to see other women's boobs. In public areas though like the zoo, museums, and parks, I would say it would be appreciated if one would cover up. I ask that you would do that not by law, not because you are forced, but to be respectful of other people. I am not going to go demand that a law be made where women are forced to cover up, that is ridiculous. Leave it to the business. Also, there are men who struggle with porn, you wonder if that would make it hard for some men to stop when they see that. Do I have proof of that? Of course not. I do wonder if it does make it harder though seeing how some men cannot separate the two. Another reason is out of respect for other families. Many families see breasts as a very very private body part only for a husband or nursing baby to see. Please, respect their beliefs and cover up. I know many are worried that the baby will get too hot, but I think there are ways around that. Go to a store and get some airy fabric. It wouldn't be hard to make a simple cover-up. I worked in Missouri one summer, and even when it was in the 90's, my boss ALWAYS had on jeans and a long-sleeve shirt. He said that it kept him cooler since he was used to it. I believe that if babies are used to being covered, they will eat just fine. Especially if their cover-up is a light fabric. I won't be experiencing this for another few months, but my sister said she never had a problem and it does get in the 90s a lot where I live. You can pump beforehand as well, they do make coolers, and if it is so hot that you can't cover up, then maybe the sun can heat it up for you! ;)
Questions that were asked when I have mentioned these things before are:
1. How would you like to eat with a blanket over your head? I would hate it, but I have a shirt on and a face isn't a sexual body part.
2. What, are you insecure or do you and your husband have that unstable of a relationship that you don't trust each other? No, I am not insecure and my husband and I trust each other. We just don't agree with seeing other women's boobs. He only wants to see mine, I only want him to see mine. Again, we do trust each other. It isn't about that. It is about personal beliefs concerning showing bare chest. We feel the same about skimpy clothes and see-through shirts where you can plainly see a woman's bra. It isn't modest or fair to men who want to keep their thoughts pure. We won't force you to cover up, but just ask you to be considerate and respectful of other people. You don't know how it affects them.
3. Breastfeeding is natural and needed, it should be fine!-- Yes it is natural and needed. Many things are natural and needed like relieving yourself, but in our culture it is something done behind closed doors. Sex is natural to make the baby you are breastfeeding, but that is private as well. No sex isn't a need, but you show the same part you do when you breastfeed. That same part that is used as a part of sexual pleasure. So breastfeeding is a natural need that is fine to do, but it is proper/respectful to do it covered up.
The following is just something I wonder, I am not saying it is true, I just ask that you think about it. I have considered the idea that breastfeeding without a cover could be a part of new age feminism. It is a way to be on equal grounds with men. The reason I wonder this is because I see many women saying, "Men go around without a shirt, so why can't I?" Also, "Men just have to get used to the idea that our boobs aren't only for their pleasure." These comments seem to stem for a resentment of how men see women. I understand that feeling, women are commonly portrayed in music as eye candy. Women don't really help these matters with the way some dress and dance. I have fallen prey to busting a move to "Baby's Got Back", and I wonder now why when I totally take into account the words of the song. Respect from men won't come unless you respect yourself first. If you just flaunt your goods to them, they won't respect you. Make them work for it, get a ring on that finger first ladies.
In closing, will everyone agree with me on this? Definitely not. There are many people out there that believe it is okay to do, and I know I won't change their mind. I just hope you consider what I said before you breastfeed uncovered. Never unravel an issue with, "How is this good/bad for me?", but "How is this good/bad for everyone?"
January 2016
UPDATE: I have been nursing my girl for over a year. I have been many places where it was warm, and I had to nurse her with my cover. Was it convenient? No. Did I manage? Yes! I was able to keep her cool. There are ways to do it ladies! Get creative! :) I know you can do it!
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